The Crying Mother

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The moment you realize you can no longer “protect” them. The moment it dawns on you that your child may not be like the average child. The one moment in your life where you can’t make reality go away and make the world sugar sweet for them anymore. For me, that time was today. It hurts, in my mind I feel like I’ve failed as a mother. In my mind, a child having a disorder like adhd is something I could have prevented. Maybe I didn’t eat enough healthy foods when pregnant, maybe I didn’t take my maternal tablets religiously everyday. I’m not sure where I went wrong all I know is I FEEL I WENT WRONG! This is not his fault, this is not anyone’s fault except my own but now my baby is the one who has to suffer for whatever mistake I made while raising him.

Agreeing to let the school assess my son was one of the hardest things I had to do. I didn’t want that on his file for the rest of his life especially IF I could curve his behavior for the better with nutrition and other stuff but let’s face it… If it was Autism or down syndrome it would be on his file, right? So how can I prevent it? Just because he is hyperactive doesn’t mean he is less smart than any other children in the classroom that is deemed “normal”. so why do I feel like I’ve just thrown my son under the bus by agreeing to this?? I got to keep my faith in God that this needs to be done, so they can better cater to his needs and I can be better educated.

I tried talking to friends and family about what’s happening with my son but come on… be real! We all have our own lives and our own problems, people can’t be bothered to hear me vent and cry about my frustrations as a mother dealing with a 7 year old boy. Believe me, I’m a good mom – My son is my world, there is no me without him but when I get frustrated and disappointment in things he does I feel like I’m the worst because I can’t reach him. I don’t know how to get through to him and show him what needs to be corrected so he can do better next time. It’s like I’ll talk to him but if he is put in the situation again a hour later he will react the same. Could it be that he is just hard of hearing or has he truly forgotten what I just said? Or better yet, did he tune me out the whole time?? He has a habit, when grown adults are talking to him seriously he will cover the side of his face and start smiling like he is dying to laugh and when you ask him “Whats so funny?”, his response is always…” Something is making me laugh but I don’t know what it is.” At first, I thought it was me, maybe the way I look or sound when I’m mad but he does it to everyone. You ask him why he made a specific choice and his answer is always “I don’t know”.

I just want to be able to reach him, teach him everything he needs to know to be successful in life but at times I feel like I’m dealing with a 4 year old instead of an almost 8 year old. He forgets the simplest things: brushing his teeth, closing his reptiles’ cages, house rules, putting away his Lego and cars. If I don’t check his bag everyday he will leave parts of his homework in there. My son is so intelligent, he is a brilliant 7 year old so I know I must have done something correctly. He understands things that I would never expect him to understand but it’s like he switches on and off. At school, the child they describe to me is a stranger to me. At home, I just always chalked things up to he’s just hard of hearing or forgetful but otherwise he is a great kid, I don’t have any real problems. IF you took school out of lives… We would have no issues but that’s not possible… is it???

I had turned to friends and family and spoke about sending him to a private school… of course I cant afford it but I was willing to accept donations or try to earn the money someway – all I got back was negativity.
Then I said okay, I will homeschool him – I got back negativity.

The sad thing about this is that no one understands the pain I’m going through because they don’t have a child like mine. I feel alone.  Your friends and family will tell you they are there for you but when push comes to shove, they run off the phone if they hear you drop a tear. It’s not fair, it’s not fair to parents and it’s not fair to kids that have special needs because let’s be honest, the school system does not cater to these children.

They want you to medicate your child if they are different. They don’t help make the family life any easier, they just make it worse. Why can’t the schools acknowledge that some kids do better one on one or in a smaller class setting and cater to those kids? Don’t sweep them under the carpet by pushing them into a behavioral classroom where they barely learn. That’s not helping my child, it’s causing more damage! Now I know that’s what private schools are for but lets be honest…. I’m a regular, one income household and I can’t afford to put my son in private school even though according to the public school system that is where he needs to be.

I would love to homeschool but I’m not a teacher… Can I really make sure my son would be on the same standards as a regular child in his grade would be? Then there is the income aspect… How will I be able to financially support the family?  So many questions and not enough answers. All I know is right now I sit here being The Crying Mother.

Thank you for listening….

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MY PETS!!! WOW What a Journey!

Hi,

I decided to start this post because I have soooo much to say! I’m 31 years old (still can’t believe it!) and I live in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. I just wanted to take this time to actually give you a brief rundown of what type of posts you will be seeing on here. Posts will be about parenting my beloved Parrots!! Everything you need to know and anything you want to know just ask!! I’m not a professional trainer but I do have a love and passion for PARROTS!!!

So let me start with the pg13 stuff first lol…. My PETS!

I’ve went through it all from 2009 to 2012 I went on a pet frenzy trying to find the perfect pet for me and my son. I was having issues… The very first pet in our home, we got from a friend and it was a 10 week old kitten who we named Diamond.

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She was great when we first got her but I soon came to realize a 10 week old kitten with a 3-year-old boy was NOT the perfect combination for me. Now it may work for others and if I wasn’t so consumed with school, work, my son and just getting used to being on my own, it may have worked for me but nope, I just couldn’t do it. So in September 2010 a whole year and some later, I decided I had to let Diamond go. She was pooping on my floor instead of her litter box, disrespecting my rules and it was just a mess. 😦 I do miss her at times but it was best for all of us to part ways.  After diamond came Sky, the cockatiel bird that I got from a vendor in the Jane and Finch mall… I should have realized something was wrong when I seen how hard it was for him to get her out of the cage but at this time I was blind to all that and thought I was a miracle worker. Plus how hard could taking care of a small bird be…..

BOY was I wrong…. My sister had a cockatiel named Jake (they soon realized Jake was actually a girl) and it was so tame and nice, I thought what a perfect pet and that’s why I went to go get this one. Well, this one did not want to be tamed, did not want to play with us and LOVED to bite hahahaha. Very aggressive. So I gave her to my sister thinking she would learn from the other bird. My sister took her in and Jake and Sky got along too great! They ended up bonding together even though they were both girls and my sister lost her nice, tamed bird. I even bought a book on cockatiels and nope she just wasn’t the pet for me and my son. My niece’s grandfather was a breeder of cockatiels and two minutes with Sky he had a tame, nice bird… I don’t know how he did it but he did. **Update on Sky: She is tamed but is a breeder bird. Apparently she loves to have babies. Go figure…**

Now I don’t want you to think I’m a bad person but I definitely spent like $10,000 dollars on cages, accessories, toys, pets and was unsuccessful finding the perfect pet. I spoiled every single one but after a while I was like nope this is not the one for us and I would have to find a new home for the animals. So I went through 6 rabbits, 6 dogs, 2 chinchillas (now those were my ideal pets but unfortunately they ended up passing :(), a hamster, 5 guinea pigs, and a Chinese water dragon. Anyhow, I finally stopped and just so you know I found homes for all of them. So I’m not an evil person.

The pets we do have now, who I will be blogging about are: a leopard gecko, blue tongue skink, bearded dragon, a Galah cockatoo aka rose breasted cockatoo and an African grey parrot.**Update: Pets are: Bearded dragon, African Grey parrot, Quaker parrot, Black capped conure, Indian Ringneck, Lovebird and green naped lorikeets.

The Leopard Gecko I got from the person, I traded my Chinese water dragon with. Now the gecko is up for sale not because I don’t want her but because she is my son’s pet and he is not doing well in school nor being responsible for caring for her. Her name is Sunshine and she is about 7 years old now. Still love her though, so for as long as we have her she will be included in this blog. We have had her for 2 years now. **Update on Sunshine: She found a new home.**

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The Bearded Dragon is our longest pet, we have had him since he was a few months old and he was purchased from P.J Pets. He is about two years old now. He has been with us through a lot. My son does chill with him often. He may not check his water bowl, or clean his cage as often as I would like but he will take him out to watch tv with him. Put him in a box and sleep near him. Let him out to run around in his room and shower him. Show him off to his friends and just relax with him. We call him, Ray. **Update on Ray: he is still with us. I just bought a leash so he can go outside with my son more often**

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Next my son has a Blue tongue Skink, he is our second longest pet. I think he is about two years old also and doesn’t really come out of his cage much. He is an Indonesian Blue tongue and hisses when we open the cage and touch him. But has never bit any of us. I would recommend a blue tongue to anyone as I LOVED feeding him food from a spoon. This Blue tongue’s name is Junior and he loves his Cat food! **Update on Junior: He passed in May 2016. R.I.P. We never really knew his age as he was a rehome at Petsmart so I’m thinking he was older than we originally thought.** We gave his cage to my nephew because we forgot that Ray, our bearded dragon could have used the 40 gallon terrarium. I miss him.** And of course that’s my precious troublemaker in the picture below, My son who I will refer to on this blog as “JuniorJay” lol. If you want to know more about my son and his adhd journey you can click on the other tab to read about that. I will be opening a new blog for that so stay tuned.

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Now onto My PETS! Let’s start with my Galah Cockatoo aka Rose breasted cockatoo. Lola was born on May 12, 2012. I received her in August 2012. Paid almost $3,000 for her. She came from a reputable breeder, I would definitely go back to that breeder again. I love Lola but I made many mistakes even though I read so many books before getting her. I listened to the vet that came to my house to do her wellness and dna check which I have regretted ever since. Now it may not be the doctor’s fault but she made Lola’s first experience a horrible one and Lola had only been with me for a little bit prior to the doctor coming.  Anyhow I will go more into detail when I do a blog strictly on Lola. Point being is, I’ve been having issues with her to the point I even brought her to another vet but I think Lola was seriously traumatized by the first one :(.  Anyhow this is my Lola and I’m working very hard to get her back to the loving, non-scared, fun playing parrot she came into this household as. **Update on Lola: Lola has died. She died in my arms with me telling her how much  I love her. Seems as if she had a seizure… I completely take the blame, as I feel I just did things wrong and it still hurts when I get up and Lola isn’t there to greet me… I dedicate this blog to her and she is my reason for trying to get parrot information out there so people realize how important it is to love these creatures and nurture them.**
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Now last but definitely not least… please welcome Mr. Talkative! My African Grey Parrot who was born on June 12, 2012 right behind Lola and came into our household the last week of October so only a few weeks after Lola. I did everything all the books tell you to do about introducing them and keeping him quarantined for 30 days etc. I took him to the vet for his wellness check and I also got him from a breeder, not the same one as Lola but still a breeder. Great breeder, I would buy from her again. Unfortunately Grayson and Lola even after being together for two years have still not bonded. Grayson can be intimidating and Lola is now a “chicken”. However now that I’ve been home for a few months and have done so much more reading and stuff I’m hoping to start trying again because I refuse to give up! So I will definitely be blogging about their interactions. Anyhow, Grayson talks TOO much he says Hi, Hello, What’s your name, Grayson, Lola, Mommy, Stick them up…. The list goes on and on… I’m hoping to train him to identify letters and numbers. As for Lola, I’m hoping to train her on more tricks. Anyhow that’s it for my pets. **Update on Grayson: He is still here flourishing, I’ve decided to keep him fully flighted so we are currently working on trying to get him harnessed trained.**

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I love all of them but of course Grayson and Lola are mine! I was wondering if Lola would be happier somewhere else but I can’t let her go without putting in the work. Since I’ll be off on Maternity – I should have more time and I plan to take her everywhere with us even if she decides to stay in her travel cage, I just want her around so she can get more exposure and hopefully that will help with her socialization skills. She is my biggest worry right now. **Update on pets: We have expanded our flock so we have added a Quaker parrot named Piper  – 2 yrs old, we got him when he was a baby. A Lovebird named Boss – Born here (I’ll explain that story in his personal blog) He is one years old now. A Black Capped Conure named Nyx – She was rehomed, we received her about a month ago – She is 3 yrs old right now. A 3 month old Indian Ringneck renamed Ringo – he was also rehomed,  the family had him for about a month named him Pepper and decided they couldn’t afford him, they had him living with their cockatiels all in the same cage. Also I’m currently waiting to acquire a baby Rainbow Lorikeet – right now it is 5 weeks old so still on 3 handfeedings a day, definitely not ready for its new home as yet. So stay tuned!!!**

Welcome to Parenting Parrots!